Tuesday, April 9, 2024

Something funny?

 




Ben smiled as he saw the two drunk chav lads stagger around barely holding their beers and their trackies up. They looked a mess but were clearly having a good time as they started chanting a footie song. Ben was the total opposite to them, he was stylish, polite, middle class, educated and he couldn’t help but laugh at the lads loutish behaviour. However, it seemed that he chuckled a little bit too loud as both the men suddenly turned to face him.


“Is there something FUCKING funny?!” The skin head said as he started walking towards Ben.


“You’s laughing at us? You FUCKING Prick!” The one is the cap said getting louder and more violent.


“No no no I was jus-” Ben started to stammer out before he was swiftly punched in the gut bringing him to his knees.

“If you want something to laugh about then, I WILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO LAUGH ABOUT” The skin head then grabbed a beer, snorted and spat in it a thick wad of snot. Ben grimaced and tried to stand and get away but was quickly pushed down to his knees, his hair grabbed and his head tilted back. “ Open wide cunt!”


Ben initially refused and tried to escape but a quick kick to the stomach and a hand painfully grabbing and squeezing his nose shut made Ben gasp for air giving the chavs the perfect opportunity. Ben sobbed as the tainted cheap beer was poured down his throat and he had no choice to swallow. The gross, warm and mostly flat beer bubbled down as Ben was forced to swallow or risk drowning on the disgusting drink. Ben felt his stomach swell as the amount seemed never ending as it spilled from his mouth, down his cheeks and chest, filling him up and also drenching him in the amber liquid. When the beer was empty Ben was released, he thought his ordeal was over but the churning in his guts and the tingling over his body told him otherwise.


As the chavs stepped back and watched, Ben thought he was having an allergic reaction as his face and body started to swell. Looking at his reflection in the puddle of beer in front of him Ben was horrified to see his face changing. He watched in terror as his ears grew bigger and stuck out from his head, his lips grew fat and his mouth now permanently hung open in a dumb stupor, his nose grew wide and crooked, while his teeth yellowed and jumbled in his mouth. Ben wanted to cry as he watched the hair on his head recede and turn into a cheap, poorly done fade. While his body grew a layer of muscle that was quickly eclipsed with a double layer of fat. Ben winced as he felt his cock and balls double in size along with his feet and hands. He looked like a dumb ape as his brow bone became more pronounced and his mouth hung open.


The worst was yet to come as Ben felt his brain start to tingle and thinking became harder and memories started to fade. Ben forgot how to read and write, he could count to 20 on a good day, his knowledge drained leaving him with only the most basic of skills making him only good for the most basic of labour tasks. Ben tried to fight back and regain what he lost but the beer in his body was winning as he quickly became drunk and started to crave more alcohol. He then started to crave something else, nicotine. Ben almost felt like he would kill for a cigarette as his body became overwhelmed with irrational anger, his emotions now unfiltered and his temper short. Ben felt more woozy and could barely focus as the chavs stripped him of his clothes and dressed him in stained smelly trackies, a beer and B.O soaked t-shirt and some second hand sweaty trainers.


Ben tried to get up but quickly stumbled and fell back into the pool of beer causing the two chav lads to burst into laughter. “You know what mate, that is fucking funny!” The skinhead chuckled as they watched Ben try to figure out what had just happened to him.


“Here mate, looks like you’ve had too much to drink!” The other chav said as both men grabbed Ben under his shoulders and carried him to a nearby bench. “You stay here and sober up, I’ll leave you some cigs and a tenner to help you start your new life”


Ben could only grasp his head as he tried to work out how his whole life could be turned upside down in such an instant, he needed change back, he didn’t want this! But as he looked up from the bench he found himself alone. The chav’s were long gone leaving Ben hungover, looking dumb and confused, reeking of sweat and beer, barely able to think and with nothing but some cigarettes and ten pounds to his name. Ben had nothing to laugh about now but he did have plenty to cry out. 


 

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